Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid recap

ZOMG, ZOMBIES!!! Oh please oh please, let it be about zombies. (I am going into this completely spoiler free, so you know.) But the opening scene with a guy climbing out of his grave (with the name Clay Thompson) looks promising. So he shows up in a the redneck’s house, and the redneck tries to shoot him, but the gun’s not loaded—redneck fail.

The boys are in South Dakota, wearing suits and trying to get hold of Bobby and wondering how far he could get in that chair. They meet up with a guy who calls himself Digger, who saw Clay Thompson enter Benny the Redneck’s trailer, even though he knew Clay was dead. It seems Benny killed Clay in a hunting accident five years ago (zombie was in pretty good shape then, huh?) and Clay came back for revenge.

A female sheriff, Jody Mills, who Digger calls “Fargo,” approaches. The boys introduce themselves as Dorfman and Neidermeyer (Animal House!). She questions why the FBI believe Digger’s story and wants to check with their supervisor, but Bobby’s done gone missing, right? This won’t go well. Oh, look, there he is. OH NO! She recognizes his VOICE! LOL! Sam and Dean fidget. Turns out she knows Bobby for being drunk and disorderly and mail fraud and warns them to cease and desist.

Sam and Dean (who haven’t actually been the focus of the show here for the first 7 minutes) travel to Bobby’s and start questioning him about where he’s been and what that smell is. (“Is that SOAP? Did you CLEAN?”) Bobby accuses them of acting like his mother then tells them he’s been doing research. Bobby dismisses the case they’re working on, but the boys head to the cemetery in my baby anyway. I sure have missed that car. They notice Clay’s grave looks fresh, so of course they dig it up to find it empty.

The boys break into a house and are attacked, then the guy begs them not to shoot. Turns out he’s Clay Thompson. He looks pale but otherwise not too bad for a dead guy. He confesses to killing Benny because Benny killed him. Clay agrees to go with them as long as they don’t wake his kids. Dean’s ready to kill him---or probably another verb, since he’s already dead---when the sheriff shows up and makes Sam and Dean drop their weapons. Sam and Dean are confused. The zombie confesses to the murder, the man the sheriff believes is too dead to commit murder clearly isn’t, and then when Bobby comes to bail them out of jail, he and Sheriff Jody are having a cozy conversation.

Turns out Bobby knew about the dead rising all over town, and the sheriff has been asking for his help…(hm, just got a niggle of a story idea there)…and the boys are hurt Bobby lied to them. He brings them home, and a woman is getting dinner on the table. The woman is Karen, his dead wife. No wonder Bobby wanted them gone. He doesn’t want them to solve this particular problem.

Dean loves her cooking but Sam’s reluctant to eat. When she leaves the room, Dean and Sam jump on Bobby about the American Girl zombie making cupcakes in the kitchen. Bobby says she’s not a zombie because he’s tested her every way. She hasn’t crawled out of her grave because he’d cremated her. Turns out the sheriff’s little boy has come back too (so sad—no wonder she doesn’t want the problem solved.) At least 15 zombies have risen. Bobby believes Death is responsible. Another horseman. Must be Thursday.

Bobby can’t stand the idea of being without his wife again. He’s breaking my heart. He points out that the dead rise in Revelations, that it’s never said to be a bad thing. He begs them to leave his wife alone.

Dean thinks the zombies are going to turn, so he hangs out in Bobby’s junkyard, only to be confronted with Karen, who lures him into the house while Sam checks out the sheriff’s house and sees her reading to her son. (SOB!) Dean and Karen have a conversation while he eats her pie, and he tells her they won’t let anything happen to Bobby.

Meanwhile, Sam walks into a house that looks like something off of HOARDERS. He encounters an ill woman on a daybed who beckons him closer. She’s drooling and scarred an he says he’s going to regret this, but comes closer anyway, only to have her attack him, drool on him, before he reaches the gun at the back of his pants (sexy!) and blows her head off in a scene I’m sure made Tanya VERY happy. Even my husband was surprised at the graphic nature.

After commercial, the boys are at Bobby’s, who warns them to be quiet because Karen’s sleeping. They ask him about the old lady, who was the first to rise. Bobby said she was always a little nutty, and Dean asks if she was always nutty enough to eat her husband’s stomach. Dean and Sam want to take care of the problem before it’s too late, and Bobby wheels his chair on them and pulls a revolver. If she turns, he’ll take care of it. And he orders them off his property. The boys are stunned and hurt. Dean says they’re his family, but Bobby can’t see it. Dean insists on going back, knowing Bobby mustn’t know or he’s dead. He’s trying to protect the man he loves like a father. Sam will have to go to town alone to protect them.

The sheriff’s son is getting ill, and has a temperature of 111 degrees, and is hungry, reminiscent of those creepy changelings. She sends her husband to him with soup and I’m thinking this won’t end well. Meanwhile, Karen collapses, warm with fever and hungry.

GROSS!!! The sheriff’s little boy ate her husband! ICK ICK ICK!!! But as she stands frozen, her child approaching covered with her husband’s blood, Sam drags her out. Despite freaking out, she responds to Sam’s plea for help, then watches him walk into her house to kill her son. Poor Sam, having to kill a kid.

Karen’s aware of what’s happening to her. I really like her. She confesses that she remembers that Bobby killed her and he tells her he can’t do it again. She also tells him that when she returned, she saw a man at her grave, like a skeleton, who had a message for Bobby.

Argh! We don’t get to hear it yet, because Dean is sneaking into Bobby’s house, in time to hear a gunshot. He rounds the corner to see Bobby sitting by her bed, Karen dead.

Sam has the town gathered at the jail, passing out weapons (isn’t this SD? Don’t they have weapons? Stereotype much, Mary?) and telling them how to kill these zombies that may look like neighbors, friends or wives. One townsperson asks who he is. Sam straightens and says, “Friend of Bobby Singer’s,” very proudly. “Town drunk?” the man asks, surprising Sam. They mobilize, while Dean and Bobby get ready to move. They hear something in the junkyard and Dean goes to investigate, finding Clay Thompson. They’re surrounded, and Bobby fires repeatedly from his chair. One of the zombies knocks Bobby from the chair, but Dean shows up in time. Why are all the zombies at the junkyard? Something to do with the message?

Dean’s running low on ammo as they run back into the house, but Bobby left it in the van they were packing before they attacked. Poor Bobby’s house is a mess of blood, and Bobby and Dean are out of ammo as the zombies break in. Dean drags Bobby into a closet, where the zombies beat on the door. Dean’s wondering why they’re here, too. Finally Sam and the sheriff arrive and start shooting—ugh, Bobby has to move now, because GROSS.

Back in the cemetery, they build a funeral pyre. Looks like the same cemetery where Mary’s grave was. Bobby builds his own pyre for Karen at the junkyard and the boys come to support him. She was the love of his life—how many times does he have to kill her?

Finally Bobby tells them what Karen told him. Death has come for Bobby, because he’s helping the Winchesters, to pay him back. Whether Death wanted Bobby’s life or his spirit, he doesn’t know, but Bobby’s pretty beaten down. However, I’m relieved that he survived, because I was a bit worried about that. The show ended pretty early, didn’t it? And next week, well, Mary’s back, and Dean’s in heaven? Haven’t we kind of done that?

So what did you think of the first new show in FOREVER?