Tuesday, April 14, 2009

What's Your Hunting Style?

It seems like any time I thumb through a magazine on a plane or at the grocery checkout, there are an abudance of quizzes designed to give you "insight" about yourself. So, in that vein, I thought it was high time for a Supernatural quiz. All right, maybe your current job is teacher/journalist/lawyer/stay at home mommy, but hey, lots of people are seeking alternate employment these days--in case you ever decide to add "Demon Hunter" to your resume, wouldn't it be nice to know ahead of time what your hunting style is?

Unless you happen to live right on top of a Hellmouth and can do all your exorcising/slaying/etc. in one convenient location (see: property listings, Sunnydale), the Hunting lifestyle often requires a lot of travel. Which of the following most closely resembles your road-trip philopsophy?

A) I can handle the crappy hotels and diners as long as there's a stable Internet connection--which reminds me, don't touch my laptop.

B) Driver picks the music, shot-gun shuts his cakehole.

C) You do what you gotta do. Even if you can't get on the road because you're, I don't know, in prison, you can still send people out on murderous errands for you. Being behind bars is no excuse for slacking! Get out there and kill!

D) Great, I love to see new places! Just don't tell my mom I'm here.

Obviously, the very root of Hunting is to, you know, hunt. Before you apply for this job, take a long hard look at how you feel about nonhumans and possibly having to kill them. Which of these best describes your philosophy?

A) I'm often conflicted--and often have sex with nonhumans.

B) I'm often conflicted. Especially since my brother may be nonhuman.

C) I say, as long as your knife's freshly sharpened, sticking someone with it is perfectly humane.

D) My biggest conflict isn't an ethical choice, it's why so many fans seem to loathe and despise me. What the hell did I do to you?

Admit it, we all have family issues. Which of the following most closely describes your baggage?

A) I have sibling issues--specifically, trying to get mine to butt out and let me make my own (bad) decisions.

B) I have unresolved Daddy issues but am still trying to live up to his expectations.

C) I have sibling issues: ie, I killed mine.

D) I have unresolved Daddy issues and am rebelliously trying to live up to his larger than life memory.

E) Samsonite.

Heroes, from "Greatest American" to Firefly's space cowboys, deserve theme songs! What would yours be?

A) Visions

B) Eye of the Tiger

C) I'm Going Slightly Mad

D) Can't Fight This Feeling

In my job as a writer, editors and agents sometimes ask us to define ourselves by comparisons to other authors. (This always stumps me, but here's what I've concluded: I aspire to the umatachable wit of Jenny Crusie and the award-winning warmth of Holly Jacobs, but the family-centered chaos is pure Tanya.) Along those lines, I thought giving you a specific comparison might help you better understand your Inner Hunter.

Mostly A's: You're a Sam Winchester type

Pros: Diligent, smart, sensitive to others, phenomenal shoulders

Cons: Hard-headed and moody with high potential to go Dark Side; also, pheonomenally bad luck in love

Mostly B's: You're a Dean Winchester type

Pros: Quick thinker, great in a fight (unless caught off guard in bar by petite blonde), longstanding ability to repress emotions and solider on alone in missions

Cons: Rash, reckless, serious Achilles' heels when it comes to family (or pie). Increasingly given to weary indifference--all that longstanding repression that comes with the job (not to mention the Hell-torture) ages a person before their time. Also, possibly unnaturally obsessive relationship with inanimate object, i.e. your ride.

Mostly C's: You're a Gordon Walker type:

Pros: Effective, perserverant

Cons: Batshit crazy, sadistic and vindictive

Mostly D's: You're a Jo Harvelle type:

Pros: Has moxie and can even hold her own in some combat situations (see above, re: Dean, barfight), already familiar with the ins and outs of Hunting lifestyle

Cons: Arguably lacks the stamina/depth of character to go more than four episodes; could end up needing rescue instead of actually kicking bad-guy butt

No Overwhelming Majority: You may be a Bobby Singer type!

Although lacking in a glamorous ride and perhaps the well-defined torsos of some of his younger counterparts, this seasoned Hunter is probably the most balanced and wise of any in his profession, the one we should strive to be like "when we grow up." Though not without foibles and regrets, he is educated in the ways of demons and an experienced fighter. He provides necessary perspective others lack, allowing him to routinely save our heroes' butts. Plus, give him a weekend and he can build you a nifty iron panic room!

So, tell the truth, which Hunter are you most like? And, irrespective of the multiple choices listed, what would your theme song really be?


Trish Milburn said...

LOL! This is fantastic, Tanya. I nearly spit out my lunch while reading when I got to the part about Gordon and saw the description "batshit crazy". :)

You know, I think I have elements of off of them, but have to admit the "can live with crappy motels as long as there's an Internet connection" spoke to me.

Anonymous said...

>>>can live with crappy motels as long as there's an Internet connection" spoke to me<<

LOL! As much as you're on the road, I can totally see that about you :-) I just went pretty much a week without internet and thought I might end up as non-sane as our friend Gordon.


Natalie J. Damschroder said...

That was my choice for the first question, too, Trish! :)

Okay, even though I had two Ds, I'm going with the Bobby Singer type. I can't take being a Jo!!!!

Brilliantly done, Tanya!

Anonymous said...

I'm equally Sam and Dean! Fun quiz.

Saren Johnson said...

I'm Bobby!